Is anyone just “normal” anymore?

Where is it?

Is it gone forever?

Does anyone have a balanced, normal, peaceful, respectful, middle ground, friendly, non whacked, non aggressive personality these days??

We have been visiting car dealerships over the past week or so and have been disturbed to find the same personality extremes in sales people that I see at school board meetings discussing openings, city council meetings debating masks or frankly any episode of the Housewives.

Exhibit A- The Mazda manager who bulldozed over his own friendly sales guy in the most condescending manner asking us to “grade” his performance as if the poor fellow had just played his first solo at a piano recital.  After we assured “the boss” that Caesar was doing great, he proceeded to hijack the entire process anyway telling us about his kids,  his “Hindenburg” divorce and that he came to Mazda via the Rolls Royce dealership in Palm Beach.

Clearly his marriage wasn’t the only thing going down in flames.. I mean hello??   You went from Rolls to Mazda??  (Why share THAT?) This man must have been “on” something..he was getting loud and increasingly aggressive as closing time approached.  When I finally stood up to leave, folding his little DaVinci code of a written offer into my purse he LITERALLY commanded me to stop!!!.. “You see that paper?” he bellowed pointing at my hand, “most car dealerships wouldn’t let you leave with that paper but I’ll allow it. ” I actually felt like I was escaping a potential trafficking situation as I beelined it for the door  ..and I’m not talking car traffic either!

Exhibit B- All I did was ask ONE question about a specific vehicle on a dealer’s website. Within two minutes, my home phone was ringing which was super creepy as I had not shared my number.  My question was “Does the Infiniti featured on your site have heated seats?”  Well Mary (I forget her real name) went into a lengthly dissertation about EVERYTHING on this car. I let her finish and then politely repeated my question..you know, the one I asked online: “Does this car have heated seats?” Again, Miss Mary launched into a soliloquy about how great the car was. “Mary,” I interrupted “I have really bad sciatica, not having heated seats is a deal breaker for me, does this car have them or not?”  She wasn’t sure she said but would go out on the lot to look..

(ok, whatever.. 🙄)

She called me back 4 minutes later (possibly 2) and was gushing.. “Oh my goodness, the interior of this car is soo incredible! Would you like to come down this afternoon to look? Is a 1 or 2pm appointment better for you?”

So at this point I feel like a debate moderator trying to get a straight answer..”YES OR NO–WILL YOU PACK THE SUPREME COURT ???”  When it comes to heated seats, I’m a one issue voter..I WANT THEM! I NEED THEM! JUST TELL ME IF THIS CAR HAS THEM OR NOT and don’t even try to tell me that I have to commit to an appointment BEFORE you answer that question..I AM  NOT DOING THAT MARY,  capeesh??

Finally, finally(!!) she admitted that (surprise!) there were no heated seats. I said thanks but no thanks to the car.  Mary has called me 4 times a day since then. I’m serious, I am just one call away from taking out a restraining order on that chick!

FINAL EXHIBIT C- Things are now getting interesting.. at this juncture my frustrating SUV search has morphed into a truck search for my husband. “What the heck?” you might ask..”how did that happen?” Well, truth be told we are both in the market for different reasons (beyond high miles.) My guy’s sporty car is so small that he keeps using my SUV and he’s slowly destroying it.  Latest example: I have a beautiful, expansive sunroof, but I keep the shade closed all of the time to filter out the hot Florida sun. The other day as I’m turning around to gaze at his stuff piled high in the back seat, I notice that my sun shade is sagging like a fully loaded diaper on a gigantic, 500 pound baby. “What the..?” I ask as I instinctively yell out my husband’s name. He swears he is innocent, but the inside of my car is a veritable crime scene of mud splatter and his fingerprints are all over my visor and door.  Add to that.. he forgot his big blower thingy in the back so it smells like gasoline to boot.

Anyway- back to Exhibit C– the local Ford dealer. By the time I arrive to meet my hubster there with my windows down (due to the gas fumes) and my hair all over the place, he has already chosen his totally tricked out Ford F-150, they have examined his car for trade-in and he and the sales guy are haggling over price. “Man to man” the kid is telling my husband through his mask, “my manager won’t go lower.” “Well, ask your manager to come on out and talk to me about this” my freshly minted cowboy calmly responds, at which point the sales dude says “I already told him what your bottom line was, and he told me to throw your keys at you.”

Whaaaaaaat?

Whooooooooo says that??

You wanna wrestle or actually sell a car today young man?

I LOATHE confrontation and rudeness which is why I don’t watch debates or confirmation hearings or cable TV or stick around for these car dealership peacock dances. I immediately bid my farewell and went to TJMAXX where I scored two pair of name brand shorts for $12 each. Good thing too as my husband drove home in his new, bedazzled truck so I’m assuming we might be on a budget.

As for my car?

I told country boy (aka my husband) that I would be happy to hang onto it if he fixed my droopy, poopy sun shade and cleared the interior of all evidence that he ever used my luxury vehicle to transport wet sod for our yard.

As for people?

I have NO IDEA why everyone is defaulting to such personality extremes.  As a mother, I’d like to give each one of these folks a verbal lashing, but that would just add to the general fray now wouldn’t it?  Plus, in case you haven’t noticed, NO ONE is listening to anyone about anything so why bother?

I just keep getting up and walking away. The more you do it, the easier it gets.