My 89 year old mom has been struggling with her memory as of late. People’s names are becoming a particular problem and it frustrates the heck out of her when she can’t recall one she should know..like the name of her doctor.
“Mom,” I always remind her “it rhymes with Costco..” but she just can’t get there. That name simply never embedded itself into her memory bank so when she goes to withdraw it, there’s nothing. Curiously, other brain deposits that were incorrectly entered have stuck; “Anthropology” (the store) is, and always will be, called “Armageddon” by my mother. 😂
They say you can’t miss what you never had and I’ve personally never had a good memory. It’s taken a while, but I have actually come to find there are benefits to this problem.
#1 People’s secrets are safe with me because frankly, if you give it a few days, I will have pretty much forgotten the details.
#2 I find it easy to forgive..because again..the whole forgetting the details part.
#3 I am a positive and hopeful person because I’m not dragged down by painful memories.
#4 My focus is pretty much always forward..I don’t dwell on the past.
(Past? What past? 😂)
This is not to make light of anything my mom is experiencing. Getting old is not for the faint of heart. It’s a bit like flying in your own little Cessna..you’re up there in the clouds trying to make it from point A to point B in your day but every so often a piece of your plane just inexplicably fall to earth. Gauges and dials you’ve always relied on slowly stop working, the engine is sputtering and more often than you’d like, you look down and see yet another of your friends’ planes tangled up in the tree canopy below.
On top of it all, you’re not always sure where you’re headed or if you even feel like going anymore.

The conclusion I always draw as I deal with my own issues and watch my mom deal with hers is to live today in the best possible way you know how with every “part” of yourself that’s available. Be a force for healing in your corner of the world and a light to those who are lost in the dark. Try not to let your limitations dictate your life and be open to every possible blessing embedded within them.
As it says in the bible, we are not always liberated FROM our problems, but we can live liberated and victorious lives while we’re IN them.

A beautiful write up… Inevitable stage of life for some, when the memory starts failing much too often… aptly summed up as well with the quote
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Thank you. I love that quote..it reminds me that some of out best personal growth occurs in the worst times.
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I like your conclusion. FYI…I have a great memory for many things…but don’t expect me to remember a birthday
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HAHA! Clearly..I don’t remember those either!
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What I love most about your blog is that you are so insightful and pretty much always hopeful. I really like that about you. My Mom died when I was 28 from cancer. She had worked with two elderly women, both of whom had alzheimer’s. It was so very sad. She often said in the days leading up to her death that at least she didn’t have to worry about that. She was always terrified of that particular disease. Three of her sisters developed dementia, so perhaps she had a premonition. I share her fear. Watching the women she cared for slowly lose pieces of their lives and not able to recognize even their own children was hard for them, for my mother, and for me as well. I would visit with them now and then.and to see these intelligent and wonderful women become disoriented, fearful, and confused was hard on the heart.
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Thanks Carol and yes.. it is life’s greatest irony that you have to be at your strongest when you’re at your oldest to weather the absolute multi-pronged onslaught that is old age.
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Yes, that’s so true. I have small issues with memory now and then and it can be frustrating not being able to spit out the word that’s right on the tip of your tongue.
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Story of my LIFE!!!! 🙄
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Aw, hugs. (At least you remember what’s most important – being kind.)
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